Saturday, 10 p.m.
MAN CREATES rock band of robots to escape playing with flaky, undependable humans. Robots revolt, rip out man’s bowels, drape him in chains and a slave mask, and formulate a plot for world takeover.
After 15 years of enslavement, said man, JBOT, is suddenly looking pretty clean—almost normal.
“I no longer wear a mask or guts or chains,” JBOT told Connect. “Going to be a normal band for this tour.”
“It’s so fun now for me,” he adds. “Happiest I’ve been in years.”
“UNITY has come to C!BR,” the band elaborated in their tour announcement. “UNITY in the hatred of humanity. UNITY in playing brutal music to break your ears and your bones. This plague of humans has one solution, and we are the medicine for this sickness. The band has been rebuilt, downsized, and is ready for war. Our evolution is unstoppable, just as your destruction is imminent.”
Fans of mechanical engineering and rock ‘n’ roll can enjoy a C!BR show. These aren’t some air-guitarring Chuck E. Cheese characters—the robots have been built to actually play their instruments. While they’re down to the bare essentials, JBOT advises that their “songs are wayyy betters too.”