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Best of the Blotter 2011
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Police were called about a drunk person at a fast food establishment. The woman was parked at the drive–thru window. She smelled strongly of alcohol, was slurring her speech and had difficulty keeping her balance even while seated.

When officers asked for ID, she began to search her purse, but her wallet was on the console next to her. The officer tried to point that out, but she told him, “I have my f***ing license, just wait a minute.”

The officer asked her to step out of the car so that he could conduct field sobriety tests, but she told him, “I’m not taking s***. I didn’t drive here. I was dropped off and I’m not getting out.”

At that point, the officer told her she was under arrest, and began struggling to get her handcuffed.

Once he finally got her into the back of the police car, she yelled, “I’m not a drug addict motherf***er.” Returning to her car, the officer found a full cup of alcohol in the center console and an empty prescription pill container, which should have had more than a month’s supply of anti–anxiety medication in it, but which was empty.

During the ride to jail, the woman became “very irate and vulgar,” including telling the officer that she would “do anything” not to be taken to jail. When he warned her that offering him money could be construed as bribery, she began using racial epithets and then told him to “go to hell, bitch.”

• An officer requested assistance after stopping a subject on Montgomery Street. When backup arrived, they saw a woman standing on the side of the road yelling, “thank you Jesus, thank you for perfect peace.” She then yelled, “Take me to see Paula Deen, take me to the restaurant.”

She tried to walk out into the street, despite oncoming traffic, and was stopped. Two parking attendants stated they had seen her lying in the road earlier.

An officer found a plastic bag with some of her possessions, including a new cell phone and the contract. They discovered her name, and a home address in Maryland. The woman continued with the irregular behavior and was transported to Memorial for evaluation.

• A Stone Mountain resident might have had too much to drink while downtown one night. An officer on patrol saw the man punch a piece of plywood covering a storefront window.

The officer asked the man if he’d be able to keep his hands to himself, and noticed that he wasn’t very stable (in a physics sense, not emotionally).

He told the officer that he “didn’t do shit wrong.” The officer got out of his car and asked the man to come back and talk to him. The man’s companions told him to keep walking. The officer said he’d be charged with obstruction if he didn’t come back.

After the threat of a charge, the man said that the officer was “just trying to show off.” His eyes were blood shot and glassy, and he smelled strongly of alcohol.

The man was yelling that everything was “f***ed up.”

He unleashed a stream of profanity, including calling another officer “nothing but a p***y ass nigga.”

He was arrested for public drunkenness, obstruction and abusive language.