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What a tangled web we weave
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-- Officers were dispatched to a reported fight on the corner of Fahm and Zubly Streets. At the scene, they found a white male in a dress shirt yelling at a homeless man. The homeless fellow was telling the other guy to stay away from him, and the white guy was yelling that he wanted his money back. The officer separated the two and attempted to get their stories. The white guy appeared to be intoxicated and he had red, discolored skin around his left eye, consistent with being punched. He claimed that he had tried to call a cab on his cell phone and had been waiting near MLK when the man approached him, dragged him by the shirt toward Yamacraw and began punching him in the face. The guy then said that he handed the other guy $20 and he stopped punching him and walked away. The officer checked the guy's cell phone and saw that there was no call made to cab company. The officer asked about the inconsistency in his story and the man said that someone at the bar had called the cab for him. The guy in the dress shirt told another officer who arrived on the scene that he was lost when, for some reason he could not explain, he ran away from the homeless guy outside of the bar and then gave him some money, although he couldn't remember how much. The homeless guy, who also appeared to be intoxicated, told the officers that he had never seen the white guy until he ran up to him in Yamacraw, near Bryan and Fahm, and asked him to help him buy cocaine. He told police he had no idea how the guy's eye had gotten swollen, and the officer noted that he had no swelling or cuts on his fists. When officers searched the homeless guy, they found no money on him. Officers then went and spoke to the doorman at the bar, who said that he thought he'd interrupted a drug deal between the two men in the bathroom earlier. He heard them talking about money, and then the homeless guy ran out. A few minutes later, the white guy came out and asked the doorman if he'd seen his friend, who the doorman assumed to be the homeless guy. He said no one had called the guy a cab either. The officer asked the guy about the inconsistencies in his story, and he said that he just wanted his $20 back.

-- A man walked in the Pennysaver office and met with an employee who worked there. She asked if she could assist him, at which time he stated, "yeah, you can have these back," and threw a stack of newspapers at her. He then ran out the door, yelling, "now clean that up." The woman tried to catch him, but he jumped into a vehicle waiting outside the door and sped off. She took a photo of the license plate with a cell phone camera which clearly showed the tag number. The newspapers had apparently been collected from several people's yards. A check of the business' records showed that the man had never requested to be removed from the delivery list. No injuries were incurred during the incident. The paper thrower was charged with disorderly conduct.

-- An EMT with the Southside Fire Dept. missed his first day on the job when his car rolled into the river at the Houlihan Boat Ramp and became submerged. A local fisherman found the submerged vehicle and notified local authorities. A wallet was found at the boat ramp, and the identification matched the name to whom the vehicle was registered. A sonar scan of the nearby waters was done to ensure that the missing person hadn't drowned. Several hours later, the man was spotted near an industrial park in Port Wentworth. He was transported to the hospital for treatment of some minor scrapes and bruises. No word on how exactly his car rolled into the water, or what he was doing at the boat ramp so early in the morning.